My arms are empty and acheing...

I can’t believe I’m a mother without…

Life has been twisted and turned upside down. As a mother, I had both the wonderful privilege of holding my sweet son as I brought him into this world…and the horrible chore of holding him as he took his last breaths and left this world, at only 7 years old. June 24, 2010 he earned his angel wings, passing away after an inspiring but brief fight against Cystic Fibrosis. Now I live, solely focusing on living a life to get to be with him again in heaven, and to raise awareness for Cystic Fibrosis research. I am dedicated to a cure, not only for my sweet sons legacy but so that other CF families never experience the greatest loss of their lives that we are now facing. My mother’s arms are missing Connerman, yet he still inspires me daily to leave a mark of LOVE on this world…so for you my sweet prince, mommy will try!



Love Love Love

Always Always Always


Sunday, October 3, 2010

I too am thankful…

Just like Ronnie, I too, am thankful…

Today I am thankful for my breath.

I am thankful that God speaks into my heart each day.

I am thankful for an amazing, humbling, loving, amazing 7 years with Conner.

I am thankful to have a husband who adores me.

I am so thankful to have a husband I adore just the same.

I am thankful for Hunter and Bradyn.

I am thankful for a family that loves me unconditionally.

I am thankful that God has provided me with this outlet to really get my head clear of static.

I am thankful for my very close group of friends who would do anything for me, and be by my side no matter what time I called.

I am thankful I have friends that I would do the same for as well.

I am thankful Lord just to have breath…

I am thankful that I am close enough to visit Conner whenever I feel strong enough to do so…

I am thankful for the lessons He is teaching me each day…

I am thankful to live in a country where I’m free to speak my mind, make my own choices, and attend church as I wish.

I am thankful for music. It feeds my spirit…

I am thankful that MOPS starts back up on Wednesday…can’t wait to feel a part of a group again.

I am thankful for a day without tears…

I am thankful to be alive…

I am thankful that I found God, I cannot imagine this life without Him.

I am thankful (and SHOCKED!) that this past Thursday I said “good Thursday to you!” outloud! The first Thursday I wasn’t consumed by grief…a giant victory!

Yet I am also so very thankful that if this Thursday is grief stricken that my God will be there to lift me in His loving arms!

I am thankful for lazy Sundays filled with lots of catnaps…

I am thankful that Women of Faith is this Friday and Saturday…I cannot wait!

I am thankful for sunny days in October.

I am thankful for memories and precious pictures to carry us thru…

I am thankful...so, so THANKFUL…

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Thankful For smiles…

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Thankful for special moments with Grover

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Thankful for his baby brother, Bradyn

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Thankful to be his dad!

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thankful for science…

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Thankful for last Halloween…

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Thankful for school

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Thankful for best friends

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Thankful to be outta the hospital in time for Thanksgiving

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For decorating the tree together

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For amazing, Lifelong friendships

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Thankful for relationships and grandparents

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thankful for some smiles

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thankful for sillyness

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thankful…

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thankful for last embraces

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thankful for friendships

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thankful for a chance to say goodbye…

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thankful for love

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thankful for generosity from strangers

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thankful for bingo buddies

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thankful for smiles amidst the pain

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thankful for visitors his last hospitalization

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thankful to have been able to carry him, love him, raise him, support him, hug him, and call him mine…if even for only a little while…

so thankful.

 

Love Love Love

 

 

7 comments:

  1. This blog made me cry harder than any of your others (besides "24 Hours", of course). But, I think it's because I am overwhelmed by what a great God we serve that He can bring you the ability to find thankfullness and a sense of peace in a situation that is devestating to say the least! You are an amazing woman, person, human being...period. And we, (I will speak for most of us that follow you), are thankful that you let us take part in your journey and your walk with the Lord.

    I pray that you enjoy and find peace and catharsis in Women of Faith this weekend. My sisters, mom and I will be there. We will be wearing our red for Conner! We love you and your family, and continue to lift you up in constant prayer and protection!

    Thank you Jesus...love, love, love.

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  2. Just wanted to let you know that I am thankful that you wrote this blog piece! Thank god for GOD, huh?! I am writing a blog post right now,and stopped because I was feeling blue and you just uplifted me again. Blessings to you Sarah and your beautiful family. Oh and thank you for the sweet tears you just brought to my eyes, to remind me of my own blessings...

    -Beth

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  3. We are thankful to you...for sharing with us, Conner, your joy, faith, and sorrow. <3<3<3 Beautiful pictures...

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  4. I am thankful that you love God and that you share your thoughts and feelings with us. Thank you for your honesty.

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  5. Love it Sarah. You are such in inspiration!! Thankful!!

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