so its official…
i got my invite to the elite club
the one not just anybody can join
the one with no standing rules
the one nobody likes to talk about
the one where the other members celebrate each step like putting your shoes on the right feet with you because they know it’s a BIG DEAL
the lonely club
the somber club
the “leave your smile at the door” club
the club your friends just don’t get and never fully will unless they too are forced into the club
child loss club…
you don’t get some fancy, shiny card to prove your membership…the look on your face is proof enough
the club where your free to walk the lake at night and cry in front of complete strangers and not feel ashamed of it…cus your grief buddies will understand
the club where nobody tries to “help” you feel better by saying such insensitive things like “at least you had him as long as you did” or “you look good today it’s nice to see you feeling better” or “this too shall pass” and “at least you have your other children” cus members of this club realize those statements aren’t fully true nor make you feel better
members of this club know that grief isn’t a set period of time. its not a timetable. theres no magic wand to make it “all better” and members of this club know how uncomfortable that makes some of the “outsiders.” it’s hard to see someone grieve…but don’t try to rush it
this club recognizes the most caring, compassionate things outsiders can say are “i’m so sorry for your loss” “i care about you” “what can i do for you right now” and the such…
this club strives to keep it’s membership numbers low
members know firsthand it’s better to reach out to us and possibly say the wrong thing, than to not reach out to us at all.
members recognize no two grieving people are the same nor is anyone’s grief greater than anyone elses.
members recognize that each and everyday is a struggle. that everywhere you go and everything you see and hear are constant reminders of your loss. there is no escape…that makes it so difficult
this club is a lifetime membership
can join by exclusive invite only
members must learn to tell time by “before death” and “after death”
and most of all to be a part of this club you have to pay the highest dues price you can ever, ever imagine…
good grief…
sucks to be one of em…but here i am anyway.
