My arms are empty and acheing...

I can’t believe I’m a mother without…

Life has been twisted and turned upside down. As a mother, I had both the wonderful privilege of holding my sweet son as I brought him into this world…and the horrible chore of holding him as he took his last breaths and left this world, at only 7 years old. June 24, 2010 he earned his angel wings, passing away after an inspiring but brief fight against Cystic Fibrosis. Now I live, solely focusing on living a life to get to be with him again in heaven, and to raise awareness for Cystic Fibrosis research. I am dedicated to a cure, not only for my sweet sons legacy but so that other CF families never experience the greatest loss of their lives that we are now facing. My mother’s arms are missing Connerman, yet he still inspires me daily to leave a mark of LOVE on this world…so for you my sweet prince, mommy will try!



Love Love Love

Always Always Always


Thursday, April 21, 2011

The happiest place on earth…

Last week started like any other…

well kind of…

Monday was my birthday, and that in itself is not a big deal, except that this was my first birthday without my son. My mind keeps going back to a year ago and this time a year ago, I was on the phone with the docs often, they were trying to admit Conner, and I kept refusing, so Conner could be home for his birthday…so my heart was pretty torn apart on my birthday. Many flowers and cards arrived that day and they all made the day much brighter, great friends came to visit and the house was full of laughter for the most part…

I knew Conners birthday (thursday the 14th) was going to be even more difficult. I just can’t fathom celebrating his birthday yet. We associate birthdays with becoming a year older, and well, he never will be 8. So rather than sit in our house and mope…I planned a surprise trip.

not even Brad knew where we were headed…

SO wednesday I packed the car for our roadtrip…and when Brad got home we left….here’s our trip in pictures…Conner was with us for sure!

We hopped in the car ready for adventure with a beautiful sky…

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Made it to our first destination…Trees of Mystery

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then packed back in the car and headed to our next destination on Conner’s birthday…

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(ya Bradyn doesn’t like people dressed up…even Goofy)

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Day Two at Disney…

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then on way home we stayed a night and left our hearts in San Francisco…

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We were gone from Wednesday thru late Monday (or technically very early Tuesday am) it was perfect to get away and enjoy the sunshine, it re-energized our spirits and helped us smile, and not concentrate on Conner’s birthday and the sadness that brings for us. Conner was with us the whole way. Lots of hearts all over the place, stickers stuck to the ground in disney, and even three red heart shaped fireworks during the disney “dreams come true” display, there was eagles soaring over our car the entire way to Anaheim from Cresent city (10hr drive), the big tree at the end of the trail in trees of mystery that said I love you all topped off with a HUGE red lego. It was just an amazing trip, with our amazing family…and even Conner as well. We needed to get away, a vacation was long overdue after the year we’ve endured…and it was perfect that nobody knew we were leaving, or where we were…we just dropped from the world for awhile and spent time as a family, having fun, smiling, snuggeling in bed together, riding some rides and just spending the best week we’ve had in a year together…

because time is the most precious thing we have…and our only guarantee in life is there are no guarantees…so we spent time where it mattered most.

together…all 5 of us…

death may have robbed his physical body from us…but his spirit was and is still very much with us…

LOVE LOVE LOVE

6 comments:

  1. Looks like you guys had an amazing trip...you definetly deserve it!!! you all look so incredibly happy. <3 <3 <3 always always always. you guys are such wonderful people, and have such a beautiful family!!

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  2. Sarah - looks like the perfect trip for y'all. So happy that you guys were able to have some quality family time. Love all the smiles!! Hope you guys have a lovely Easter weekend. Hugs. :)

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  3. thanks for sharing these beautiful pictures. i am so happy you guys had such an amazing time. and it looks like conner did, as well. much love and BIG hugs.

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  4. I'm so glad that your family had such a wonderful time. You all deserve it!

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  5. Thank you for sharing the pictures. Your family vacation looks like it was a blessings. Prayers for you and yours.

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  6. I don't think I could ever express how much this encouraged me! My best friend has CF and sometimes I think the world would cease to exist if I lose her. Your family seems absolutely amazing and so strong to have gone through so much! I'm so thankful I stumbled across your blog!

    ReplyDelete

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