My arms are empty and acheing...

I can’t believe I’m a mother without…

Life has been twisted and turned upside down. As a mother, I had both the wonderful privilege of holding my sweet son as I brought him into this world…and the horrible chore of holding him as he took his last breaths and left this world, at only 7 years old. June 24, 2010 he earned his angel wings, passing away after an inspiring but brief fight against Cystic Fibrosis. Now I live, solely focusing on living a life to get to be with him again in heaven, and to raise awareness for Cystic Fibrosis research. I am dedicated to a cure, not only for my sweet sons legacy but so that other CF families never experience the greatest loss of their lives that we are now facing. My mother’s arms are missing Connerman, yet he still inspires me daily to leave a mark of LOVE on this world…so for you my sweet prince, mommy will try!



Love Love Love

Always Always Always


Tuesday, April 13, 2010

tomorrow marks conners 7th and final birthday.our family is gathering today, and making plans and preperations for whats next to come. Conner is getting worse and I can't stand to see him in pain. We need to decide where we'd like him to become an angel, at home or in the hospital. God bless you for helping us thru this journey. I pray we have lots more time to share the latest on whats going on with our family of 5....I'm not ready to be a family of 4.i will keep you updated as i can.in gods grace,sarah

24 comments:

  1. I can't even begin to comprehend what you're going through. I didn't even know of you and your precious family until today, but I've already been crying with you. I am a mom of 4 kids, 3 have CF. So, your story hits home. I just pray for God's strength and a peace that passes all understanding. You and your family are in our prayers.

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  2. Sarah, I am sorry, my heart is aching right a long with yours. I lost my brother to CF. I have never lost a child so I can't say I know how you feel..but I do know what you are going through. If you need anything, feel free to email me just to chat or whatever. Karak1983@yahoo.com

    God Bless,
    Kara

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  3. I sit here typing through my tears.
    Knowing he'll be able to run and play and finally breathe easy is comforting, but nothing can take away the hurt and unertainty I'm sure you're feeling.
    Cherish this time you have with him here. Know that you will ALWAYS be a family of 5. I lost a sister to CF, but I promise you that she is still a very present member of our family. Know you are not alone and that you have countless prayers being offered in your behalf.

    P.S. He ALREADY IS an angel. And I, for one, am grateful for the way he, and your story, have touched my life in just the short time I've been following you.

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  4. First off I'd like to say Happy 7th Birthday Conner. And second I'd like to say I'm so sorry for what Conner, you, and your family are going through. I have a son and I couldn't imagine what your going through. I've have dealt with CF, my fiance passed 3 1/2 years ago. My heart goes out to you and your family. I will pray for you and your family. Again I'm so sorry. May God be with you in your time of need.

    Lyssa

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  5. My heart is aching for you guys. We'll continue to hold you up in prayer and pray that you make the right decision. Your CF family is here for you.
    Margaux

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  6. your family will continue to be in my prayers.. you are strong and not alone.. there is a net of supporters behind under you.
    Tara

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  7. I am a friend of one of your friends - Sonja and I'm reading your blog today with a heavy heart. I will be lifting your family in prayer during these difficult hours and days. Many blessings.

    ~ Shannon (in Portland)

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  8. Happy 7th Birthday Conner. I just wanted to say that you and your family will be in my prayers.I just started reading your blog last night and have shed many tears today. I have a daughter that is 6.5 yrs old and has CF. I don't like CF this isn't fair especially to a young child.

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  9. I am thinking about you and your family and wishing the outcome was brighter. Know that many people are sending their love.

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  10. precious CF momma....only those of us who are CF mommas can understand. My heart goes out to you and I am praying for your whole family and I am so sorry you are having to deal with this so soon. No words to make it better, nothing to make the pain go away. Praying for God's peace and comfort and for your time with Connor. Kristi-CF momma to Kaleb 9 w/CF

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  11. Ugh!! Such a horrible place it must be to be thinking about laying your son to rest. My heart is just broken for you. I pray that you will be given clarity and peace during this time.

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  12. Just want you to know that I am praying for you. Praying for strength, grace, comfort...Just remember and cling to "His mercies are new every morning!" I can't begin to put myself in your shoes. I hope that you guys are able to have a wonderful birthday celebration with Conner.

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  13. I don't know you personally but I have followed your blog for awhile now... It's hard to even find words that express how my heart is aching for you and for Connor and for your entire family. Saying a prayer right now.. that Connor will be able to breathe easy and feel surrounded by peace and love... and that you and your family will be given strength to somehow make it through this time.

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  14. My name is Colleen and I have CF. A friend of mine posted this sad news on Facebook today and I just wanted to let you know that I'm praying for you all and Conner's peaceful transition to becoming an angel. Words cannot express how much it saddens me to hear that we might be losing another fighter. Hearing about the death of another CF-er, especially a child, feels different than any other death. I will think of you and your family always and just know that Conner's suffering was not in vain. He has helped make an impact on myself and this year I will think of him while walking at Great Strides. Breathe easy, little guy! <3

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  15. What a sweet, precious family you have!! I found your blog from a friend of mine who knows first hand what you are going through. We will lift your family and Connor up in prayer. I pray for your strength, comfort and understanding of God's plan. We have a CF angel whose name is Haley and although we miss her dearly we find comfort in knowing she is without pain and suffering and sitting at the feet of Jesus with a smile on her face :) Please know that there are several of us in Oklahoma lifting you up to God right now!!
    Kami
    Owasso, Oklahoma

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  16. I am thinking of you and your family during this unimaginably difficult time. Your love has carried Connor so far and with great fulfillment for such a young boy. May God carry him along the rest of his journey with peace and comfort to him and all of you. Your son has touched me and I don't even know him or your family. God sent him to influence others - know that your son did exactly that. Prayers of strength and knowledge that he will soon be free of discomfort in the arms of the Lord.

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  17. Sarah, we love you. My mother and I talked about your darling Conner all night tonight at dinner. As always, we are here in ANY way you need us - please just say the word.

    Happy, happy birthday to Conner. He is so tough and so ALIVE - it is truly beautiful. May God hold you and your family in his hands tonight, tomorrow, and every day.

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  18. My heart is absolutely breaking for you and your family right now. I will be praying for you all. and HAPPY Birthday Conner!!!

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  19. I am the uncle of a baby with CF and I just feel for you. I am raising money with my family for a cure to CF and I just want so bad for you and your absolutely beautiful son to find joy, peace and healing. Happy birthday Conner. Don't give up!

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  20. I read your post and open my mouth to scream, DAMN YOU, CF. DAMN YOU FOR ALL THAT YOU ARE.
    But what comes out is a whisper of a cry.

    May peace wrap you and your family in its arms.

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  21. I'm not sure what to say. Nothing seems right. Conner is a better man than I will ever be if I live to be 100. I wish I could take away all the pain.

    C-Dawg - Josh and Moganko are thinking of you and sending you all of our positive energy...Just like always.

    Lots of love and peaceful things.

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  22. Just a hug. That's all I've got, and I wish I could give it to you in person!

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  23. Our prayers are with you. May you find peace in the embrace of God's love.

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  24. I must say, what an AMAZING young man you have.. Despite everything you can tell he is a Happy boy and you can see in the pictures how loved he is and how much he loves his mom and dad.... I am praying for you all.. Lots of prayers, hugs and kisses from the Citron Family!

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