Totally not unlike the DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince song that I’m sure you have stuck in your head now.
It’s just a day for me I guess. It’s Friday, my hubby is home with us, we took the kids to see Toy Story 3 this am and ABSOLUTELY LOVED IT, but this day is leaving a very sour taste in my mouth already and it’s only have over. (Please Lord let time speed up to end this day!)
I can’t really go into too many details of it all but I just wish people would listen.
I really wish that they’d finally “get it”
I feel very unheard.
Like what I say isn’t taken seriously.
Like what I say is to always start a ruckus.
It’s been so long and I’ve been saying the same thing over and over AND OVER AND OVER….until I’m WAY past blue in the face…but it seems to still haven’t gotten thru.
Hasn’t sunk in.
Only now instead of making me angry how it has before.
Today I’m crushed.
I wish eyes could be opened. and hearts as well.
I wish for once that I felt like I wasn’t the one whose trying to be selfish.
Because I’m not.
I’m being completely realistic.
Times have changed. Situations have changed. and yet here we are at ground zero…having the same conversations. over and over and over again still.
But i’m just crushed now. I’m hurt.
What could I possibly have left to say that I haven’t said already?
Or what more can I do to possibly have it finally sink in and make sense?
I thought maybe we were nearing the finish line between getting it and not getting it.
But I guess not.
Guess we’re starting over.
Only I just don’t know what to do.
What to say.
Or even if I should.
It shouldn’t even be a discussion.
Should I even waste my time? Because thats all it in anymore. A waste of my time. Expressing the truth of the matter over again. Being blamed as the bad guy. I’m just past this. I thought we all were.
Guess I was wrong.
Guess my expectations were too high. Are too high. Who knows.
I just don’t get it…and I think for now I’m done trying to…