My arms are empty and acheing...

I can’t believe I’m a mother without…

Life has been twisted and turned upside down. As a mother, I had both the wonderful privilege of holding my sweet son as I brought him into this world…and the horrible chore of holding him as he took his last breaths and left this world, at only 7 years old. June 24, 2010 he earned his angel wings, passing away after an inspiring but brief fight against Cystic Fibrosis. Now I live, solely focusing on living a life to get to be with him again in heaven, and to raise awareness for Cystic Fibrosis research. I am dedicated to a cure, not only for my sweet sons legacy but so that other CF families never experience the greatest loss of their lives that we are now facing. My mother’s arms are missing Connerman, yet he still inspires me daily to leave a mark of LOVE on this world…so for you my sweet prince, mommy will try!

Love Love Love

Always Always Always

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Terrific/Terrible Tuesday

needle Conner’s having problems with his breathing today. He’s been laying around all day. Now he’s finally sleeping next to me in my bed. He asked today to restart his IV’s…I’m so glad he made it a week and a day w/o them. He was able to bathe, and be free of IV’s, though he wasn’t really up and walking around at all. Still, emotionally and physically, he got to really ENJOY his days without antibiotics.

But today he says no more…

I called the docs, and either tomorrow or first thing Thursday he will have his PORT accessed with that huge push pin needle in a way that is so brave you’d be SHOCKED…and we’ll restart antibiotics to booster him up. and hopefully help him to feel a bit better for awhile.

Family came to visit from out of town today, my dad and his wife and her grandma from Hawaii, Nana. Nana hasn’t seen Conner since he was maybe 2 or 3. It was a great day for a visit. The little boys played in the pool and had a great time. and mr. conner laid on the couch inside most of the time. He was able to come out and lay on the outdoor couch in the shade for about 20 minutes. so that was nice.

Now he’s sleeping.

And I’m watching him.


And praying over him.

For peace. For no pain. For breath, deep breaths. and good rest.


  1. I'm glad he was able to be outdoors for a bit today.

    I wish I could give some of my big, deep breaths to him.

  2. We continue to pray for him & you (and the rest of the family). Your strength & courage to share all this with us is amazing. My life has been changed forever because of you. I know I will be a little stronger dealing with my cf daughter and be grateful in the present.
    When I read your blog, I think of the song by the Sidwalk Prophets, Be strong in the Lord and,
    Never give up hope,
    You're going to do great things,
    I already know,
    God's got His hand on you Except, Sarah, you and Conner are already doing great things.
    He has his hand on you and Conner.
    May you have a peaceful night.

  3. I find myself thinking of your family so often. You are an amazing woman and mother.

    I am so very sorry that you have to endure this. It just isn't fair.

    Love from Minneapolis,

  4. Praying the antibiotics do their job and that Conner is able to get some relief from the pain.

  5. What a very, very brave boy. I'm glad he's made it 8 whole days! What an accomplishment - all things considered. You all are always in my thoughts.

    Lots of love to you all!

  6. I'm constantly checking to see if you've posted an update on your little Connor. He's tough and smart at knowing when he needs his meds. I'm sorry to hear that he's not doing well. He'll push through and feel better with the meds. ♥s

  7. Such a light around so much darkness. So comforted in your faith and the faith of Connor. May God give you peace and confidence in every moment.


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