My arms are empty and acheing...

I can’t believe I’m a mother without…

Life has been twisted and turned upside down. As a mother, I had both the wonderful privilege of holding my sweet son as I brought him into this world…and the horrible chore of holding him as he took his last breaths and left this world, at only 7 years old. June 24, 2010 he earned his angel wings, passing away after an inspiring but brief fight against Cystic Fibrosis. Now I live, solely focusing on living a life to get to be with him again in heaven, and to raise awareness for Cystic Fibrosis research. I am dedicated to a cure, not only for my sweet sons legacy but so that other CF families never experience the greatest loss of their lives that we are now facing. My mother’s arms are missing Connerman, yet he still inspires me daily to leave a mark of LOVE on this world…so for you my sweet prince, mommy will try!

Love Love Love

Always Always Always

Tuesday, January 12, 2010


Halleluyah i thought this day would never come. Conner has been fever free for 29 hours and his rash has gotten much better. So looks like either tomorrow or Thursday we are going home, YA NO MORE HOSPITAL! (well for awhile anyway!) And since the fever went away after they stopped the IV Zosyn, we are assuming that was the culprit. Doc says that can happen at anytime, even a drug you use frequently. I shouldn't say with any drug, with specific drugs, like zosyn it's in the pipercillin family which i guess is famous for these drug fevers. So no more zosyn or any of it's cousin meds either! ;)
We've got Conner's make a wish trip scheduled for Saturday thru thursday then daddy will have the rest of the weekend to be home with us, for some much needed family time!
I am well aware that Conner is not at 100% for this trip. We are taking along our FAA approved oxygen concentrater with lots of spare batteries fully charged, and if you've been following me a bit, or have known us awhile you'll know that we do realize that Conner may be readdmitted soon after his wish trip. It seems anymore he can't make it past 4 or 5 days w/o iv's before he gets another infection, which is so frustrating.
I've learned to respect CF greatly. I've also learned that having mrsa and pa is really not a good combination. it can make your body weak and with no reserves to battle lung infections because your body is constantly fighting anyway. But I also learned that i am hopeful. And hopefully optimistic. This time about a week ago, or maybe the week prior who knows anymore, I was feeling pretty beaten down and even "raised my white flag in defeat" but no more. I've learned that those feelings will come and go, you can't be 100% positive, 100% of the time. Just as long as you realize that you can't stay in that negative, frustrated space for too long! So game on CF, it's GO TIME! I had my moment of doubt, but no longer. Meet the new and improved Sarah, and get ready to be TAKEN DOWN! (oh and by the way, PA and your bff MRSA, you're up next!)

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