My arms are empty and acheing...

I can’t believe I’m a mother without…

Life has been twisted and turned upside down. As a mother, I had both the wonderful privilege of holding my sweet son as I brought him into this world…and the horrible chore of holding him as he took his last breaths and left this world, at only 7 years old. June 24, 2010 he earned his angel wings, passing away after an inspiring but brief fight against Cystic Fibrosis. Now I live, solely focusing on living a life to get to be with him again in heaven, and to raise awareness for Cystic Fibrosis research. I am dedicated to a cure, not only for my sweet sons legacy but so that other CF families never experience the greatest loss of their lives that we are now facing. My mother’s arms are missing Connerman, yet he still inspires me daily to leave a mark of LOVE on this world…so for you my sweet prince, mommy will try!

Love Love Love

Always Always Always

Monday, May 3, 2010

a new week...a new hope

Gosh it's been awhile, I kept getting online to update and then something kept me from doing it. it's been kinda crazy here, with meetings, cf parents night out, appointments, bipap and iv's and plain ol living life. So now I have a second to let you all know things are going ok. not great, not horrible. thats all i can ask for these days i guess. Conner's been receiving lots of your mail and postcards and he LOVES it! thank you all so much for your generosity. I've gotten a map so I can start marking on it where you all live, everyone who loves and supports him. That will be great for him I believe. He always asks me if certain people who write to him are "in this world" so I think he'd really enjoy the map. As always your continued love, kindness and support are whats getting us thru this whole time.

Parents night out was a blast, lots of our cf parent buddies there for a nice dinner complete with wine (and I don't even like wine but this was yummy!)

Our GS walk is this coming saturday and our team is huge! We have I believe 6 teams nationwide this year and a few have already taken their steps for the cure! thank you for those who have, and to those who yet to as well. WE're knee deep in fundraising now our team is already over $4000 in donations and thats only online, not the checks and cash yet, so that I'm very glad for, and thats just our vancouver walk, not the other walk sites. Next up is the poker tournament my buddy Ryan's putting on (he's 31 with CF), another local CF walk, then our golf tournament for CF....busy time...but it's well worth it.

I'm sure you all know that last week we lost more precious lives to CF, I know we continue to lose people each day to this disease but that's the hardest part of reaching out and meeting the cf community. you make yourself vulnerable to pain. I would like to express my greatest sympathies to the families of Sam, Sonia and Emily...may they finally breathe easy and may you find the strength to keep fighting. Blessings to you.

Conner's due to end IV's tomorrow and we're going to clinic in the am to discuss if we want a short break, which would be great or if we want to keep going. Conner's continuing to struggle to breathe he's tied to his 02, last night at dinner he was on his o2 and still struggled and asked if his bipap would help him breathe easier...the sweetheart. This whole experience has been so difficult at times, and yet quite normal another moment. But its so heartbreaking. breathing shouldn't be something one has to work for, its a natural reflex, involuntary even, yet why is it that he has to consciously think about doing it...uhg. so my hope i guess for this week is for his comfort. whether thats on or off iv's...i just want him to breathe easy...


  1. Keeping you all in my thoughts and prayers! Its so awesome to hear about all the support your getting. ;) Keep fighting!

  2. The bravest battle that was ever fought!
    Shall I tell you where and when?
    on the maps of the world you will find it not...
    'twas fought by the mothers of men.
    -Joaquin Miller

    Keep fighting Sarah. You're not alone.


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