My arms are empty and acheing...

I can’t believe I’m a mother without…

Life has been twisted and turned upside down. As a mother, I had both the wonderful privilege of holding my sweet son as I brought him into this world…and the horrible chore of holding him as he took his last breaths and left this world, at only 7 years old. June 24, 2010 he earned his angel wings, passing away after an inspiring but brief fight against Cystic Fibrosis. Now I live, solely focusing on living a life to get to be with him again in heaven, and to raise awareness for Cystic Fibrosis research. I am dedicated to a cure, not only for my sweet sons legacy but so that other CF families never experience the greatest loss of their lives that we are now facing. My mother’s arms are missing Connerman, yet he still inspires me daily to leave a mark of LOVE on this world…so for you my sweet prince, mommy will try!



Love Love Love

Always Always Always


Sunday, October 10, 2010

A Woman of Faith…

What an amazing weekend of encouragement and LOVE.

Friday a friend and I left for Portland, OR to a Women of Faith conference and WOW…it was powerful. We made it to the am session Friday as well, which I must say was one of my favorite parts of the weekend. There was two speakers that spoke directly into my heart about grief and loss. About relationships and about raising my children with all the LOVE I can…focusing on their STRENGTHS more than their WEAKNESSES! It was amazingly touching.

Saturday was the full day event with many speakers, singers and worship time. Natalie Grant was there and unknown to me, Sonja had written Natalie’s manager a letter about sweet Connerman and explained how the song she sings called “Held” is one of just a few songs that I sing and think solely of Conner. It means the world to me, that song does. Natalie actually read that letter ON STAGE…and keep in mind I knew NOTHING of it! I started sobbing…the UGLY sob…and she sang it in honor of Conner and I.

WOW.

After her singing break I got to meet her…ONLY GOD…she had read my blog and it touched her to her soul. She has never dedicated or read a letter on stage like that before, this was the first in her backup singers memory. I felt so blessed.

029

 

028

 

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God came thru for me this weekend so much more than words could ever explain, and far more than I could ever have imagined. It’s like every speaker was speaking solely for me, they were speaking my story, my grief, my pain, my loss, my love of God, everything.

Sonja and I stayed an extra night to simply relax. And relax we did…we stayed by the airport in a gorgeous hotel, had dinner with another AMAZING CF mama, laid in bed watching Iron Chef til midnight, woke up and ate cheesecake and leftovers and filled the day with shopping…and ended it with some Yo Cream (which I’d never had before!) and it was fantastic!

God was there.

In that Rose Garden Arena.

He healed a bit of my broken heart,

my broken spirit,

my broken soul.

All I can say is this weekend refueled me, recharged my soul, and filled me up to take a step forward tomorrow…

 

Love Love Love

13 comments:

  1. CHILLS! I have chills...
    You have been so heavily on my mind lately. I am so glad you got this special weekend, and that you were held up by women instead of being torn down.

    WOW! just WOW!

    -Beth

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  2. Each time I hear that song...which is VERY often (it is on my worship playlist)...I think of you and was actually going to recommend you to listen to it..guess that is not necessary :)

    That song brings me to tears and gives me so much peace, as I think of the life God has chosen for me to lead with 2 boys with CF.

    Praises to HIM for holding you and getting you through the unfathomable!!!!

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  3. Okay, now I am crying. What a sweet sweet story Sarah! I just love it! So happy that you had a good recharging weekend. You deserve it! BIG BIG BIG HUGS!!!!!

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  4. That sounds like one of those events that makes you get that awesome feeling that brings up goosebumps to your skin. Super great, glad you went. Yay for awesome friends, btw. Especially in light of realizing there aren't great ppl out there, seems like those that have stuck around are awesome!

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  5. I have goosebumps reading this! I'm so happy that you had an amazing weekend. Big hugs to one amazing momma!

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  6. I am so glad that once again you were exactly where you needed to be. God moves and speaks in so many different ways. God bless you for being open to hearing it.

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  7. So glad that you enjoyed your weekend. My best friend and I used to go every year but she is too sick now to travel out like that....so this year I bought the DVD's and brought them to her! We loved the speakers and you are right they just know how to speak to your soul.
    Blessings, Kristin

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  8. one of my all time favorite songs and singers...

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  9. Very very awesome!!! I have been thinking of you and praying for your family...

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  10. Beautiful song, beautiful story. So thankful you had this opportunity to be blessed.

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  11. I had never heard that song before, can you believe it? And to hear it live for the very first time at this very event that she dedicated to you and conner, can you believe THAT? Only God! I'm so proud of you for being such a brave mommy!!!

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  12. What an awesome experience. So happy for you :)

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