My arms are empty and acheing...

I can’t believe I’m a mother without…

Life has been twisted and turned upside down. As a mother, I had both the wonderful privilege of holding my sweet son as I brought him into this world…and the horrible chore of holding him as he took his last breaths and left this world, at only 7 years old. June 24, 2010 he earned his angel wings, passing away after an inspiring but brief fight against Cystic Fibrosis. Now I live, solely focusing on living a life to get to be with him again in heaven, and to raise awareness for Cystic Fibrosis research. I am dedicated to a cure, not only for my sweet sons legacy but so that other CF families never experience the greatest loss of their lives that we are now facing. My mother’s arms are missing Connerman, yet he still inspires me daily to leave a mark of LOVE on this world…so for you my sweet prince, mommy will try!

Love Love Love

Always Always Always

Friday, August 6, 2010

putting me first again

Since Conner died as you can imagine taking care of myself is lower than last on the list. i honestly couldn’t care less if i showered, ate, stayed in bed all day, took my medicine, any of it. I don’t care if it’s sunny or rainy or in between. Life has become very difficult. each tiny decision extends my brains beyond capacity, I can’t remember the most mundane of tasks, if it’s not written down somewhere i can easily see then i simply forget…or don’t show up where i’m supposed to be.

those that know me, know that this is quite the OPPOSITE of me. i’m always punctual, on time, at least showered, hair looking ok not always covered in a hat, in actual clothes, not in sweats and a tank…this new me is 180 degrees from where i was just 6 thursdays ago. I haven’t made it many places, when i do go out i’m never on time, each tiny detail pushes me over the edge…i’m not eating. i’m barely drinking. my body is exhausted mentally, emotionally, physically and nutritionally. i have no energy, my body is simply tired…

i’ve taken a stand for myself recently.

my husband and i joined advocare. not only that, but we just got our products today to do the 24 day challenge for me, and the 14 day challenge for brad. neither of us is looking to lose weight in particular, but we’re both looking for nutrition, energy, lean muscle and energy…and did i mention energy…The best part of this is, advocare simply helps your body do what it is designed to do. that being, if you need to lose weight, you’ll lose it, if you need to gain lean muscle, then you’ll gain it, if you simply need nutrition to boost your metabolism then it’ll do it. if you lift weights or strength train or run there’s programs to help your muscles before, during and after your excersize. i have a handful of friends across the country signed up to do the challenge with me…and i’m excited to begin this monday. i’m excited to see my energy soar and my mind to actually focus because of Spark, i’m excited to be rid of all the heavy toxins and hard to reach fat with the vitamins and cleanses, im excited to preserve and gain more lean muscle mass with catalyst because osteoperosis runs in my family and my health matters to me. it’s simply time to put me first…

I love to pay it forward…so that’s why im mentioning it. i have some dear friends doing the programs that have shared fantastic results…and they’ve been looking for ways with every new diet coming out and not succeeding, but some of them have lost the weight and have kept it off 1, 4 and 6 years already! so if youre looking for help like i was and AM consider googeling Advocare and seeing their amazing track record and results, or go to my site at and research the company, the products, the medical advisory board, and the non paid endorsers…it is fantastic. i really think us cf mamas could benefit from more energy because our kids need it so much… i’ll let you know how it goes…

wish me luck…..

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From the time you woke up this morning to the time you wake up tomorrow morning, 18 people will die waiting for their transplant in the US.

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