I almost just don’t know what to say.
my brain is spinning out of control, my tummy is nausiated and i’m desperate to see conner again.
I’m dabbling in reality and let me tell you i don’t want to be here.
i want life to go back to the way it used to be
quiet but busy
tonight my heart is torn into shreds
i feel this deep sadness and loss to my core
i miss him desperately
i haven’t been to his place in a week and a half…i cant stand going there and standing or kneeling ontop of him
thats the closest we’ll ever be til god decides…
i want to simply scream
i feel alone
i feel empty
i feel a failure
i feel like the world continues to spin, people go about their lives and i’m stuck
i’m drowning in a pool of my own tears and the world simply is suntanning in their own lives you know
this pain is simply the tip of the iceburg
that i know
but it’s emmense
it’s life altering
and it’s killing my heart.
tonight, i’m simply done…there are no more words. my heart, my chest, my stomach, my soul…