My arms are empty and acheing...

I can’t believe I’m a mother without…

Life has been twisted and turned upside down. As a mother, I had both the wonderful privilege of holding my sweet son as I brought him into this world…and the horrible chore of holding him as he took his last breaths and left this world, at only 7 years old. June 24, 2010 he earned his angel wings, passing away after an inspiring but brief fight against Cystic Fibrosis. Now I live, solely focusing on living a life to get to be with him again in heaven, and to raise awareness for Cystic Fibrosis research. I am dedicated to a cure, not only for my sweet sons legacy but so that other CF families never experience the greatest loss of their lives that we are now facing. My mother’s arms are missing Connerman, yet he still inspires me daily to leave a mark of LOVE on this world…so for you my sweet prince, mommy will try!



Love Love Love

Always Always Always


Sunday, September 19, 2010

EVERYTHING IS MEANINGLESS…

What is twisted cannot be straightened, what is lacking cannot be counted.

for with much wisdom comes much sorrow,

the more knowledge the more grief.

there is a time for everything.

and a season for every activity under heaven.

a time to be born and a time to die.

a time to plant and a time to uproot,

a time to kill and a time to heal,

a time to tear down and a time to build.

a time to weep and a time to laugh,

a time to mourn and a time to dance,

a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,

a time to embrace and a time to refrain,

a time to search and a time to give up

a time to keep and a time to throw away

a time to tear and a time to mend,

a time to be silent and a time to speak,

a time to love and a time to hate,

a time for war and a time for peace.

whatever is has already been

and what will be has been before;

and God will call the past to account.

and i saw something else under the sun.

in the place of judgement,

in the place of justice wickedness was there,

i thought in my head

god will bring to judgment

both the righteous and the wicked,

for there will be a time for every activity and a time for every deed.

the fool folds his hands

and ruins himself,

better one handful with tranquillity

than two handfuls with toil

and chasing after the wind.

two are better than one,

because they have a good return for their work,

if one falls down

his friend can help him up.

but pity the man who falls

and has no one to help him up.

also if two lie down together, they will keep warm,

but how can one keep warm alone?

though one may be overpowered,

two can defend themselves.

a cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

do not be quick with your mouth

do not be hasty in your heart

to utter anything before God.

God is in heaven.

and you are on earth.

let your words be few.

as a dream comes when there are many cares,

so the speech of a fool when there are many words.

the more the words, the less the meaning.

a good name is better than  a fine perfume,

and the day of death better than the day of birth.

it is better to go to a house of mourning

than to go to a house of feasting.

for death is the destiny of every man,

the living should take this to heart.

sorrow is better than laughter,

because a sad face is good for the heart.

the heart of the wise is in the house of mourning.

but the heart of fools is in the house of pleasure.

it is better to heed a wise mans rebuke

than to listen to the song of fools.

extortion turns a wise man into a fool,

and a bribe corrupts the heart.

the end of a matter is better than its beginning.

and patience is better than pride.

do not be quickly provoked in your spirit,

for anger resides in the lap of fools.

do not pay attention to every word people say

or you may hear your servant cursing you

for you know in your heart

that many times you yourself have cursed others.

i find more bitter than death is

the woman who is snare,

whose heart is a trap

and whose hands are chains,

the man who pleases god will escape her, but the sinner

she will ensnare.

for the living know that they will die,

but the dead know nothing.

they have no further reward,

and even the memory of them is forgotten.

their love, their hate

and their jealousy have long since vanished.

never again will they have a part in anything that happens under the sun (AMEN!)

words from a wise mans mouth are gracious,

but a fool is consumed by his own lips.

at the beginning his words are folly,

at the end they are wicked madness and the fool multiplies words.

now all has been heard

here is the conclusion of the matter:

FEAR GOD AND KEEP HIS COMMANDMENTS,

FOR THIS IS THE WHOLE DUTY OF MAN.

FOR GOD WILL BRING EVERY DEED INTO JUDGMENT,

INCLUDING EVERY HIDDEN THING OR THOUGHT,

WHETHER IT IS GOOD OR EVIL.

AMEN AMEN AMEN.

So glad for Ecclesiastes…God is bringing me much comfort in these words…

everything…all of the drama…all of the brokenheartedness and cruel words of others…it’s ALL MEANINGLESS…I’m living to be with my son again in heaven and nothing will stand in my way of him. so i can proclaim with the purest of intentions and the love in my heart in Jesus name that YOU CAN NOT DESTROY ME, NOR CAN YOU CRUSH MY SPIRIT, MY SON AND MY FAMILY IS TOO IMPORTANT TO LET YOUR LIES AND CRUEL HEARTS JUDGE ME…

amen and amen amen in JESUS NAME AMEN

10 comments:

  1. I actually am sick over this. I cannot imagine for one instance, as a dear friend of yours not wanting to just hold you and cry. I am so incredibly sorry that you have to deal with any of this absolute CRAP!!! I seriously want to put on my boots and go and kick some DRAMA in the BUTT! I know you are strong, and I know you are handeling this, but you shouldn't have to. For the 'girlfriends' that have not been named that are creating, twisting and NOT CORRECTING this... I take pity on you. Shame on you. STOP IT!!!! And go AWAY!!! Leave Sarah and her family alone.... NOW!

    Sarah, only love to you my friend. You are held up by prayer every single day and night in our household. God bless you sweetheart.

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  2. Much Love Sarah. I am so very very very sorry.

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  3. What a cruel world we live in. I am happy to know we meet something better after this earth.
    love love love
    Sorry that you have to deal with this on top of all. Makes me wanna cry.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Exactly...AMEN sista friend ♥♥♥

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  5. Prayers are with you today. I'm sorry for what you're going through.

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  6. Ok, WHO THE HECK is it that is judging you and make you feel so alone and abandoned? You keep posting about it and it is beyond my ability to comprehend who would be that cruel or why they would see the death of your child and your grief as an arena for judgement and cruel words.

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  7. Sarah - When it is your time, God will bless you and reward for your faithfullness. I am praying that He will give you peace in this life and I am completely appalled that anyone would possibly think poorly of you for your grief. Our Lord God knows your heart and let the others fall away. You are much too precious to be tormented like this. I am so sorry you have to go through this after what you have already been through ! God Bless you richly in this life and the next!

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  8. Sarah, you don't know me....I am a friend of a friend. I read your blog religiously. I am so sorry for what you are going through. I pray for you daily and only wish there was something I could say or do to ease your pain. I am a Great Strideser, my nephew has CF. Through your experience and others' I am becoming all too familiar with the pain, loss & devastation caused by this monster. God bless you, I will always keep you & your family in my prayers & will continue to work for a cure.

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  9. It is so amazing to me that people, actually friends can be so cruel to you during this time. I can't believe anyone could be so cruel. Your pain and sorrow is unimaginable to me. The ones who choose to say and do things to hurt you ought to be ashamed of themselves.

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  10. I just want to cry right now.....I cannot imagine. I wished we lived closer.

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