My arms are empty and acheing...

I can’t believe I’m a mother without…

Life has been twisted and turned upside down. As a mother, I had both the wonderful privilege of holding my sweet son as I brought him into this world…and the horrible chore of holding him as he took his last breaths and left this world, at only 7 years old. June 24, 2010 he earned his angel wings, passing away after an inspiring but brief fight against Cystic Fibrosis. Now I live, solely focusing on living a life to get to be with him again in heaven, and to raise awareness for Cystic Fibrosis research. I am dedicated to a cure, not only for my sweet sons legacy but so that other CF families never experience the greatest loss of their lives that we are now facing. My mother’s arms are missing Connerman, yet he still inspires me daily to leave a mark of LOVE on this world…so for you my sweet prince, mommy will try!



Love Love Love

Always Always Always


Tuesday, July 13, 2010

65 prickily red roses and love

I received this in a FB message this morning and it was simply too beautiful not to share. Bree, blessings to you, this made me smile with love which doesn't come often these days.

I touched a red rose that day
over and over again
feeling its cool velvety petals
I touched that red rose
took deep breaths and
smelled every molecule of scent I could
stood in awe of its beauty
and felt Gods grace in its precense


I touched a red rose that day
no romance in this touch
not thinking of love in a red roses usual way
not given to me by a handsome man
but instead clipped by me
in remembrance of a beautiful boy
I thought of love in his way


I touched that red rose
over and over again
and thought of him
red his favorite color
and roses his life
65 prickly roses leaving scars on his body
taking his very breathe
but still beautiful still God in every way


I touched a red rose on that day
his last day
traced its veins with my fingers
and thought of love
Gods and His
pure and open
heart wrenchingly strong
leaving us stunned and wide eyed
searching for beauty and peace and grace
I touched that rose
and felt connected
I inhaled slowly and felt


love



In all my sadness

all the pain in this life

I touched that rose

breathed it in

thought of that angel earning his wings

overflowed with tears

and felt love
Gods love



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