another red lego day...
last night was difficult. brad and i were up late crying and talking and sometime argueing over misplaced anger..and just missing our son. i woke up still with a heavy heart this morning. i got in the car and headed to see conner at his place, a friend told me there was a few things there for me to get, so i wanted to go first thing.
i was just sad the whole way there...i hate that i know that drive all too well now. i hate that when i come to the last curve before the cemetary entrance my heart jumps to my throat. i hate that when i start up to the right and up the hill i look over to conners spot from afar and my sadness instantly consumes me. i hate it. i hate that i pull up into the same spot i always do. i hate that the grass placed over him is a dead giveaway of just how new this all is. i hate thinking of his body just beneath my feet and sometimes my knees just sitting there...alone. i hate it all.
i couldn't stay long this morning, i grabbed what i needed and i simply had to leave.
it was too much.
i went to the store to get a card for todays babyshower...i went home to change for church.
brad and the boys were not coming with me..
i changed.
attempted to pretty myself up..my heart full of sadness...
i walk out the door and towards my car i just recently parked...only home maybe 15 minutes tops.
there it was.
a bright red shiny red lego resting in the grass right in front of my car door. i ran inside to show brad...and we laughed again. our son is so thoughtful. it was perfect timing once again.
this one i put in my purse and went to church with it and held it the entire service.
3 red legos so far...on 3 very difficult days...
connerman mommy loves you so much.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Did You Know....
There are over 100,000 people, the size of a small city, on the transplant list in the US.
There were less than 10,000 deceased organ donors in the US last year. (that's a ratio of 1 organ donor to every 10 transplant patients).
In the time it takes you to shower today, 1 new name is added to the US transplant waiting list.
From the time you woke up this morning to the time you wake up tomorrow morning, 18 people will die waiting for their transplant in the US.
click here to join the organ donation registry
BECOME AN ORGAN DONOR, SAVE A LIFE!
There were less than 10,000 deceased organ donors in the US last year. (that's a ratio of 1 organ donor to every 10 transplant patients).
In the time it takes you to shower today, 1 new name is added to the US transplant waiting list.
From the time you woke up this morning to the time you wake up tomorrow morning, 18 people will die waiting for their transplant in the US.
click here to join the organ donation registry
BECOME AN ORGAN DONOR, SAVE A LIFE!
What a great team Conner and God make together!! It is so awesome how together they are watching over you and your family and helping you through this difficult time.
ReplyDelete"I can do all things through Christ who stengthens me." Phil.4:11
Conners way of taking care of you....Amazing!
ReplyDeleteCute and wonderful. :-)
ReplyDeleteThis is SO touching! Thank you for sharing with us. xoxo
ReplyDeleteI love hearing the stories of when he comes around to give you a red logo. They're fun, especially, after having such a hard day.
ReplyDelete